Ignore-Your-Girlfriend Season 2k16

Disclaimer: My boyfriend does a really great job of paying attention to me and my daily needs, but there are times where taking two hours to respond to a text message because you're watching Kaepernick take a knee is really just not acceptable. Therefore, I'm writing an article about all the fun stuff girls can do while the boys work out their testosterone during the months of October to December.

It's that time of year...halloween, pumpkin spice lattes, UGG boots, that real white girl shit. But if "SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE BOYS" then September to December is just a whole bunch of Saturdays all strung together.

Let me break it down for you:

NFL Season aka Fantasy Football Season:

Week 1: September 8th.

MLB Championships + World Series:

October to November

Battlefield 1 Release date:

October 17, 2016

Call of Duty Release date:

November 4, 2016

So what do girls do during these months aside from having to find a place with a TV if their date night falls on a Sunday, Monday, and Thursday? Here's a list of my top five things to do while the boys make more plays on fantasy league, than they do on you.

#1. GYM: This might seem boring, but its actually incredibly smart during this time of the year. Most of those crazy dudes who hardcore stare at themselves in the mirrors while working out are at home, watching football or baseball (or possibly just still looking in the mirror). The gym is literally empty aside from the few 60+y/o homies I hang with at the pool from time to time. (Shout out to Margie my kick board buddy.) And what better way to work out than NOT having a gym full of bro-tein lifters watch you side gallop on the treadmill. (No, but seriously, I don't run, I side gallop..It's a gift.)

#2. FALL THINGS: Pumpkins are like my thing lately. Not sure when my interest in pumpkins happened, but I was blessed enough to carve two pumpkins already this season. Why did we ever stop doing things we used to do as kids? I love naps, coloring, carving pumpkins, dirt in a cup...no wonder we are all so stressed out all the time. If you live on your own, or even if you just have your own room, do a seasonal decor change. I switched my light pillows and blankets for darker colors to match the season (and my soul). Buy a few mini pumpkins and harvest the shit out of your home or room. It'll make you happy. Add a pumpkin pie scented candle and I already forgot football existed.

#3. PLAN A TRIP: The end of the year is a weird time, because we have this mindset of next year being still so far away. But, newsflash, its October 23rd, and that means like three weeks until Thanksgiving and five weeks till Christmas (I'm not good at math. I am good at exaggerating). Which means January was, like, yesterday. So I got a small (lol) jumpstart on my travel planning for 2017. I figure if I start saving now and I'll be able to pay off your trip before you leave next year. And roundtrip flights to Peru, Switzerland, and Cabo are actually fairly reasonable with saving, so jet life to the next life, girl.

#4. GIIIIIIRL'S NIIIIIIGHT: As we said, fall is for the boys, so you know you aren't the only girl waiting for his noise-cancelling headphones to come off so he can listen to that trip you just planned. Call up your girls and make Sunday's, Monday's, and Thursday's about prowlin' out with ya girlfriends. As soon as you hear the sound of a fake shotgun from WWII, bounce out to a club, stop at the wine bar for a cheeseboard and some rose, catch up on the latest Real Housewives (Jacylyn is craaaaazy, and Phaedra still throwin' shade at Apollo).

#5. ME, MYSELF, & I: Being alone is the new "in a relationship". What I mean is, girls all over are popping' up with some serious independence, and loving it. So why not figure out the most important person in your life? Your bad ass self. Take time to do you. Binge watch that Netflix, eat that ice cream, do what you want. (Because we all know watching dudes in spandex and getting that head-shot kill is right where those boys want to be.) Being alone is pretty awesome when you do it right (I can make myself laugh the hardest) and who listens to you better than...you? That should always be the case. My mom always told me it's okay to talk to yourself, but once you start answering then you've got a problem.

And if you happen like football and video games, bless your soul, you're a rare breed.

#NCAA #marchmadness #fantasyfootball